No One Talks About How Lonely Healing Can Feel
The Unspoken Loneliness of Growth
No one really prepares you for the isolation that can come with healing. People celebrate breakthroughs and glow-ups, but rarely speak on the quiet nights spent questioning everything, or the moments you outgrow conversations, spaces, and even people. Healing often requires distance from the chaos, from dysfunction, from habits that once comforted us, and that distance can feel like a void.
And that’s normal.
Why It Feels So Isolating
You’re not the same person anymore, and when you start healing, your reactions shift. You're no longer quick to laugh at toxic jokes, stay silent to keep the peace, or give endless chances.
People might not understand, and some may feel hurt by your boundaries, confused by your silence, or intimidated by your growth.
You’re grieving; even if you're moving forward, you're letting go of parts of yourself, old relationships, and familiar patterns that once felt safe.
How to Cope With the Loneliness of Healing
Find safe spaces like online communities, support groups, or therapy to feel seen and understood by others on their own healing journeys.
Journal through the discomfort by writing your feelings or recording voice notes on your phone. Sometimes, hearing your own voice can help you connect deeper to the emotions that are hard to write down.
Let yourself mourn what you’re leaving behind. Cutting people off or setting new boundaries doesn’t mean you didn’t love them. It means you’re choosing yourself.
Redirect your energy by pouring it into hobbies, creativity, movement, or anything that anchors you to joy.
Speak your truth when you can. Let people know, “I’m not the same, and that’s not a bad thing. Please don’t expect the old me to keep showing up.”
Be patient with yourself. Don’t get discouraged if others don’t understand your change or expect the old you. Continue to show up in therapy and continue to show up for yourself.
Setting Boundaries Is Not Cruelty
It’s hard to cut people off, especially when there is love involved. But respect for your peace must come first. Healing means realizing that not everyone is meant to walk every chapter with you, and that’s okay.
You are allowed to change, you are allowed to need space, you are allowed to put yourself first.
Let Those Around You Know that You're Changing
Not everyone will get it, and not everyone has to. But for those who care, give them the opportunity to understand. Try saying,
· “I’m learning to prioritize my mental health,”
· “I don’t have the same tolerance for certain dynamics anymore,”
· “This isn’t personal, it’s part of my healing.”
Your evolution may challenge others, but you are not responsible for staying small, so others stay comfortable.
You Don’t Have to Heal Alone
If you’re in the midst of it, please know that therapy can help. And therapists at Herr-Era are eager to listen. Having a space to unpack your journey, feel validated, and process your growth is invaluable. You deserve support as you navigate this tender, powerful transformation.
You’re not broken; you’re becoming — becoming takes time, silence, and sometimes solitude. Keep going!